|Don't infuriate a girl waiting for love in Paris|
Paris 1994. Maybe 1993 but pretty sure it was '94. That was a collapsed year in between frustration, a night mare and finally leaving the country heading home to New York in '96. I was taken for a ride in an old yellow Volvo by paramour Antoine de la Motte. Our love was unconsummated.
|He had a yellow Volvo|
|I sat on the extreme left. Antoine reached through the window|
Morrocan Style Wedding?
|Purple is the color of choice for weddings|
That Parisian afternoon I was feeling like a Queen. I dressed in my most elegant exotic casual ensemble. Purple robe stitched with white (or perhaps it was gold) thread over an ankle length purple batik skirt from India. I had a lot of fun swishing in and out of the car as we drove around. Antoine had BIG blue eyes and was enjoying this low level flirting I was doing while I was not really flirting.
I was hopeful. He told me I shouldn't worry, that he had a good nose and he knew I was going to marry the guy il faut. Of course I thought he was referring to himself in the third person and that somehow this night was leading up to an ardent and clever marriage proposal. Finally we ended up at Le Cave St Gilles. That's when told me everything I already knew in my heart. We were sitting by an open window my back to the street the whole place painted Valentine red. I had thought about him from time to time wondering why two people who were so attracted to each other just couldn't get it together to get together. When I asked my heart I knew I was being spared. And so he began with just that thought. After telling me he had Le Sida (AIDS) he confessed that was the reason why he could never bring himself to be alone with me. He might dare with other women but jamais toi. I was off limits simply because he would never be able to forgive himself if he infected me. He wanted me to know just how far he had gone in his minds eye imagining our life together living by the sea with two beautiful children. He wanted me to know just how far gone he was. Just how much I'd been a part of his dream. And he wanted to come clean with me. I listened as he confirmed everything. My heart sighed a sigh and broke a little more. He was only 32 maybe 33. The perfect age to have kids.